Deep into the night I really questioned what I was doing, why I was doing it, and where the heck was God!? My baby was screaming not wanting to be comforted and I was mere minutes away from a breakdown myself.
Where was He? Why were my prayers to comfort my child not being answered? Did He care at all that I was struggling not to hurt my child because I was in the depths of Post Partum Depression and Rage…
That period broke me, in a lot of ways. But most significantly it broke my heart to find healing through the Savior. Healing that is still on going.
Have you had that? Have you had times when you were so broken that being on your knees and sobbing was the only place that felt right?
I remember God teaching me this analogy: I am like a beautiful brick tower, carefully crafted and taken care of by Him. Yet at times, He sees fit to break the tower down. Not because I was unworthy, or ugly, or broken. But because He saw potential and could build me even better than before. So, while painful, I let Him tear me down and slowly (brick by brick) build me back up again.
You, Mama, are a beautiful tower that is being rebuilt by an Almighty God. Each step in motherhood is another layer, another step, in your glorious design even if it’s painful.
But the catch?
You have to be willing to fully break.
And once you do, once your heart is fully broken and turned to Him… You are ready to be taught higher and holier ways. You are humbled enough to see just how much you truly matter to Him and to your family. Your heart trusts Him to show you the way and teach you the importance of your honorable calling.